Asked by Pruth, Wood-Ridge, New Jersey
I have a 3½-year-old daughter who weighs 26 pounds. She does not eat by herself and when I feed her, eats very little. She gets tired easily and remains very cranky. How can I encourage her to eat?
Expert answer
Thanks for your question, Pruth. A weight of 26 pounds is at the 3rd percentile for 3½-year-old girls, according to the CDC growth chart, meaning that the child weighs the same as or more than 3% of girls the same age.
This weight may or may not be normal for your child, depending on a number of factors including prenatal and birth history, genetics, ethnicity, diet, height, general health and development, and more.
Your pediatrician and/or a registered dietitian can advise you best regarding whether your daughter eats enough and if any specific treatment or studies should be performed for her tiredness and cranky behavior.
It can be helpful to rule out any medical conditions that could be causing problems with her growth, such as a hormonal imbalance, gastroesophageal reflux, food allergies or intolerances, weak oral muscles, stress, etc.
Read More...
A feeding tube sounds so scary…I'm sorry he and you have to go through that! Best wishes for his speedy recovery.
Kids can most certainly starve themselves! You may not know it, but they may not be eating enough to support their system and that could cause serious organ failure. CHECK WITH YOUR DOCTOR if you feel something isn't right. And if you don't like the answers they give, talk with someone else. You are your child's only advocate.
My daughter was similar. just before turning six a new ped heart a heart murmer, and it turned out she has a large asd (hole in her heart). i had taken her to the dr. Many times for fatigue. bTw an echo is needed as well as an ekg. she eats a little more now, after surgery. Go to a cardiologist, do not depend on the g.p.
Blaming the parent(s) is wrong. You don't even know what they've tried or why the child isn't eating. It doesn't sound like she has a proper diagnosis yet, so how on earth can you say what's the blame?
I joined this website "123 Get Samples" and i got freestuff from it, it took about a week for me to receive? something i actually wanted so just join them and it is easy and free
I'm surprised a Dr hasn't intervened at this point—I have cared for kids who were in the lower percentiles and all had intervention plans. Many are on the autism spectrum.
My 6 year old is a picky eater and there are days when she barely touches her meals, and thus gets very little in the way of snacks. She is moderately active and even though she has always been in the 5th percentile, is growing along the curve. My husband has a very high metabolism and eats a great deal of food through out the day. His whole family has his high metabolism. He can not understand why she won't eat, and constantly worries about it. He even tries to force her to eat, and punishes her when she doesn't (I do my best to stop his behavior). He and his family are constantly expressing concern that she is too thin, and blame every single physical problem on her eating. When she tripped at recess last fall and broke her ankle, the "discussions" about her "problems" tripled. They refuse to admit that she might just be a clumsy girl. We've talked to her doctor about it but still they refuse to listen, even with the doctor's lack of concern. They are convinced that her "poor eating habits" are hurting her health, even though the professionals are not agreeing with them. Medical professionals should always be consulted, but sometimes we as parents have to see that we are reading too much into our kids behaviors. Obviously, this is not always the case, but just as many parents can be blind to the problems, some parents can see problems where none exist.
My son only weighed 5 pounds at birth. He was always slight and tiny. He looked like a little wood sprite. I worried about him, but when I had blood work done, the doctor said he would give anything to have even half of the children he sees be as healthy as he was. His weight did not reflect on his health. I made my own baby food, I always used fresh fruit and veggies and he ate a lot of fish and chicken. He even liked liver…. (go figure) But he ate very small amounts. At age 14 he hit a growth spurt and caught up to his peers. He's still healthy as a young man, and not overweight. Sometimes I think we try to feed children to much. Thus why we see an overall obesity epidemic among children now. Leave them alone if they eat very little. It's not how much you feed them, but WHAT you feed them.
Unless there is an actual medical issue, kids will eventually eat. If a kid has the ability to put sweets in their mouth, chew and swallow it, then they have the ability to do the same with nutritious food. Make all options well rounded and nutritious and only have sweets as an occasional reward after eating real food. And if your child is truly underweight, get one of those old school homemade popsickle gadgets and freeze some Boost or Ensure in the form of a popsickle. If they think it's ice cream, maybe they'll eat it without hesitation.
I'm sorry, but I disagree with making this a general statement. Parents should discuss this with their Peds because some toddlers are functionally starving. There is an important difference between a picky toddler…and one that can't eat. It can be really hard to find the line between the two.
ieat – Based on the description, this could very easily have a medical problem, and your comments don't make identifying it of addressing it any better. As the parent of a toddler who has an eating problem, we've tried everything and then some to encourage our daughter to eat. I'm guessing that you can't imagine celebrating your child eating 3 blueberries (each cut into quaters so that she can swallow them…one at a time…2 minutes apart) while still knowing that they can't support her growth. We were lucky because our daughter would still drink almost enough calories to meet her needs, and she had plenty of energy. So far it has been 7 months of early intervention and numerous sessions…she's finally starting to be ABLE to eat food. Yes, she actually couldn't eat for a number of sensory reasons…and she was developmentally normal in other ways. For some families, it takes a decade or longer and externally given nutrition. Having a child who can eat well is something to be greatful for.
you can't. that's what kids do. I guess you could give them candy bars…but seriously, you can;t force food on your kids. Just keep them at the table and have them visually see the family eating. And, eventually, they'll eat. that's all…..
My 1 year old daughter is about 15 lbs (born 3 weeks early and was 5 lbs at birth), she is very active and seems very normal. Her pediatrician is concerned about her weight and wanted to do several tests to rule out potential issues. The doctor asked us to give my daughter pediasure once a day for a month and if there is no decent weight gain, she would want to start the tests. Some of friends say that a child in their 1st year birthday should weigh about 3 times the birth weight, if this is true my daughter should ok (given that she is very active as well). Wish me good luck.
lol, if we had done that, my kid would still be eating nothing but PB&J and chicken nuggets!
My youngest will be 3yrs old tomorrow. She weighs 22lb and has been off the growth chart since she turned a year old. I let her doctor test her for way too many things unfortunately. All those crazy and sometimes invasive test showed that nothing they know of is wrong with her. I should have went with my gut which was tell me nothing she is perfectly fine. Some people are just meant to be little and she is one of them. If your LO is not even trying to feed herself you should probably get her evaluated. The not feeding herself and being lethargic would set off alarms for me to take my LO to a doctor. GL to you!
Could be a milk allergy. I just discovered my twin girls have one. Now that we are off of milk, they are eating alot more. The milk was causing constipation and so they were not as hungry. I disagree with doctors when they say toddlers are supposed to eat like birds. My girls run all day long so how could they not need food (energy). I think there's a reason if kids aren't eating. And if kids are hungry then they are going to be cranky.
best thing to do is change mothers, this one aint working out.
I agree with most of the parents here – the child needs to be evaluated to see if motor skills or other development is delayed for some physical reason, and to see if there is some underlying medical condition. My nephew started losing weight because he turned down his food and they found out his tonsils were so large they were practically clogging his throat. He probably always had a mild sore throat but wasn't a complainer – he just didn't want to eat.
There is some information that would have been nice to have from the parent. One thing is why is a 3.5 y/o not feeding themselves. Does she have a motor impairment that makes it so she can't feed herself or does she just refuse to do it. Is this child developing typically otherwise (no cognitive, social, or motor delays). Has she always been this small or has there been a drop in her growth percentile over time. How much liquids does the child drink (is she filling up on milk and juice and thus not eating and not getting her nutrients specifically enough iron). She definitely needs to see a doctor for the simple fact that the child is acting overly tired and cranky. A referral to an ST or OT may be needed if a feeding disorder is suspected.
It's very typical for toddlers to be picky eaters or eat what perceive to be very little. However, at this stage of the development, they are not growing as much as they did the first year and don't need that many calories for their bodies. It's best to offer food that is nutritional and what they like and not force them to eat. They won't starve.
In regards to not eating check for EE our son has it, only found out because he was refusing to eat had not gained a pound in over year in half
I have a 9 year old chubby grandchild who takes over an hour (if we let him) to eat any meal.
My 2 year old son will not eat very well no matter what. We have tried to give him Boost, Pedia Sure, Carnation Instant Breakfast, etc. to try to help. Nothing has worked. He had bad reflux as a baby and is working with an OT for eating, but that still has not gotten him to eat better. He will be getting a feeding tube in a few weeks.
you know it's absolutely bs when people say it's the parent's job to offer and it's the child's job to eat. As a parent, you know something is not right. If the child doesn't have enough energy and is not eating enough food, it is very concerning. I would recommend the mom to find what type of food the child likes to eat and try to work around that. If the child likes pasta, make pasta with different sauce. If the child likes bread or carbs, make pancakes with pureed veggie and egg. If the child likes fruit, add it to yogurt, etc.
If whatever you're doing in trying to feed isn't working, switch it up. GL.
My oldest son was less than 5th percentile, but was always very fit and active. I would worry more about her toddler being tired all the time than her weight. And not self-feeding at that age is a sign of something. My middle son was diagnosed autistic, and one of the signs was that he would play with his toys all day and not ask for food or drink (he has outgrown most of the symptoms now, and is rather chunky .