My Story: Getting Pregnant At 40

Assuming that there is100,000 for IVF treatments, it is safe to gage that there is enough funds available for an adoption along with the "ideal circumstances" ie: same sex couple who can amply afford to have child. Certainly, for some people, adoption is more of a challenge, but it still is possible to succeed.

Or those who say, "You're not a REAL woman until you have children." Makes me wanna push their faces through the back of their heads.

Don't tell anyone you are thinking of having an abortion period. If you are going to do it do it but shut the hell up about it.

I agree!!!

Common sense says situations like mental illnesses do not apply.. Geez.

You will also note my comment said "attend," not "host" the showers. But to be fair here, I have never heard of a woman asking her friends to throw her a shower; I have heard of people OFFERING to host these showers, though. So either the author stretched the truth or she hangs out with some jerks. "Why should you expect people to buy you things because of your life choices?" Well, sometimes, people like to do nice things for each other. I didn't know that was such a bad thing.

Since we have never met, and you have no idea how my son has enriched my life and led my life in new positive directions that wouldn't have happened if he WASN'T handicapped, I'm going to let your comment slide. My point to the author was, life sucks for a lot of people. Our lives are not going to go the way we want to all the time. But at the end of the day, it's your decision to let life's troubles consume you. It's not the world's responsibility to coddle you and accommodate you for something the world cannot control anymore than you can.

At least you have a child, disabled or not. Sounds like you aren't grateful for what you have.

I agree, but I think the "don't tell me you're having an abortion" one is the worst. That is really editing your life so she can avoid dealing with her feelings.

But I think the point is that if someone who is infertile wants to be involved, it really should be left to them to mention it, or their friends should be aware enough to notice that they do want to be involved. Especially for the few months after the doctor's final prognosis, there is a period of time when one simply has to mourn and should be allowed to mourn. I have a similar problem, in that despite not being able to have my own, I have reached the point where it does not hurt to be round children, and I have a lot of fun taking my friend's kids to the museum or to the zoo. But there's a fine line that really I am a friend, not a grown-up babysitter to be invited along just to be another pair of eyes to watch the kids. I am extremely fortunate in that my best friend with children had difficulties as well, including three miscarriages after five months, one at eight months. She knows where that fine line is, between friend and "babysitter-friend" and I can talk to her openly about it.

I find it rather sad you will not share in a friend's happiness over something she (and you) cannot control, by refusing to attend a shower or birthday party. That probably makes your friends feel bad, and why should they be punished for something that no one can control? Due to an accident during delivery, my only child has severe mental retardation and is physically handicapped. This was a child who was supposed to be normal and perfect, and now life really sucks a lot sometimes because it's not the picture I had in head. But I'm not going to avoid situations or people who have "normal" kids just because I don't have one. It's not other parents' faults that this is my life. Life is salty, lady, just like many other things. But you're the only one who can control how you feel and how you handle life. That's not the rest of the world's responsibility. Maybe try article about what people SHOULD say.

I was growing to red of 'list' articles, til I read this. Wittingly cutting.

i recently read a remark that sticks with me, due to the fact (not infertility, bcause i was fertile Myrtle)...but that i had other things that weighed heavily on me. You cannot always change your circumstances, but you can change the way you react to them. Be kind to everyone, we are all dealing with something. Good and bad. Don't thumb your nose at someone who has naught, because i truly believe in the laws of (yeah that) you don't want something awful to come flying back into your face do you? It is not nice, nor is it necessary to be unkind.

how about you mind your own business